I need to get this off my chest and this is the only place I could think to do it right now. So ignore this if you wish....

Over these past few days of being sick I've had time to think on the situation I've gotten my self into and I'm feeling defeated, like a failure, and all those other things. I'm my own worst enemy, that's all there is to it. I know most of my RL friends that see this will want to kick my ass for thinking this way or just be indifferent about it and tell me to suck it up and grow a pair, but at the moment I don't care. I feel shut out at times as it is. It's an effort some days to even get out of bed. I just don't know what to do or where my life is headed at the moment. It feels like a dead end though...